Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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