They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize