Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Blow job season was short but glorious.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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