how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
