Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just had sex bonerless
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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