I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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