if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
God, I missed his penis.
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