Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
