Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
