I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
nutella sex= disaster
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
