He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
