Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
