I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
