Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did i walk over a car last night?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
