Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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