why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize