I cannot find my penis.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
