I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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