Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize