he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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