So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
