omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
