Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
