She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
