why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
