i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
