Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
