I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
