used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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