No subtext here. People are naked.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize