If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
