I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
