This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
