is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
