im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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