So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
