Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
