Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my sisters under your porch take her home
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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