I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Alive.
So much puke
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
