he thought i was a dude.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
