Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize