It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
