I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize