I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I love having hate sex.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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