Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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