i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
