THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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