New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
