I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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