Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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