Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize