The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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