so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
