North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
