I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
