I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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