Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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