So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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