Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize