Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
