I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
