Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
