Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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