I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
