Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
