I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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