Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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