I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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