dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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