Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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