i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
wow bdsm is so cute
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
