The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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