its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
