6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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