she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
