I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
