woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize