A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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