theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
