What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
